My life has taken a crazy turn.  Instead of re-typing everything, I am just going to post my latest e-mail update here.  I apologize if you are seeing this twice.  On a happier note, my children are beautiful and God is using this trial to truly teach me how valuable each moment with them is!  It is quite bittersweet to be experiencing that in such a real way.

I received my biopsy results on Friday morning as Aaron was able to look them up at work.  We wanted to get a chance to talk to family members in person before sending out an e-mail update, so I apologize for the delay.  Unfortunately, we got the worst possible results at this stage of the game.  I have a diagnosis of a follicular tumor, although it is still unknown whether it is benign (follicular adenoma - not spreading) or malignant (follicular carcinoma - can spread to other parts of the body).  To determine that, I will need to have part or all of my thyroid gland removed, along with the tumors (there is a small one on right in the addition to the large one on the left).  The endocrinologist stated that 95% of follicular tumors in my age group are malignant, so that is what we are planning on.  (Of course, still praying I am in the 5% benign group!)  Here is what we know about the treatment plan, which may change at a moments notice:
1. Wednesday, June 4: meeting with surgeon from Luther to discuss results of the biopsy and treatment plan
2.  Probably referral to Mayo for surgery to remove the thyroid
3.  Probably treatment with radioactive iodine (a very specific form of radiation) to kill any remaining thyroid & tumor cells (this treatment will take place 1-3 times and will require 1-3 week separation from my children, depending on the dosage they use and how the tumor responds to the treatment; it has few side effects - unlike other types of radiation - as it only affects thyroid cells throughout my body)
4.  Full body scans to check for spread of the tumor cells

The treatment plan will likely be similar regardless of whether the tumor is benign or malignant, as they must remove the tumor and at least half of the healthy thyroid gland to make that determination.

Here are our specific prayer requests for the next few weeks:

1. God would be glorified through our family's coping with this difficult news and situation
   
2. Speedy, high-quality medical care
3. No complications during surgery (specifically that I will not lose my voice permanently or have problems with fainting afterwards & will not have problems with lengthy anesthesia)
4. God's grace to endure the separation that will have to occur - and that the separation would be short and only one time!
5. Health and wellbeing of the kids (especially Caleb) while they are apart from me
6. No spread of the tumor and no requirement for chemotherapy or radiation beyond the radioactive iodine
7. Ability to continue my studies as a doctoral student through this time
   

If you can, search and download the song "Blessed Be the Name" by Rebecca St. James as an mp3 file, as it has really been encouraging me over the past few days.  I hope it encourages you as well.

"He gives and takes away,
He gives and takes away,
My heart will choose to say,
Lord, blessed be Your name!"

"While I live I will praise the LORD; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being. Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the LORD his God, Who made heaven and earth, The sea, and all that is in them; Who keeps truth forever, The LORD raises those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous."   ~Psalm 146

I have been contracting for 2 full weeks now - between 2 and 5 minutes apart, depending on my activity level.  It is one of the longest, most difficult trials I have had, physically, mentally and spiritually.  I believe in having faith in the body God created for me, but it is difficult to continue to believe that my body knows what it is doing when it is so disorganized in accomplishing what should be an organized task.

When I find out I am pregnant, my first prayer is that God will test me and grow me through the pregnancy and delivery of that child.  He has been very faithful in this area, and with each child has tested me more.  My fourth - and last - pregnancy and labor are proving the most challenging.  As I stand in the middle of the fog of this day and this test, I pray that, once I emerge into the sunshine once again, I will be amazed at how God has grown the tree of my faith in this season.

"But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety."
I Timothy 2:15

"...in the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."
Isaiah 61:2-3